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The 2020 Oscar nominees are here, and they are rough

Joker 2
Warner Bros

Well, the nominees for all of the categories at the 92nd Academy Awards were announced on Monday morning in Los Angeles, and, as you might expect from a post-Green Book Academy, the picks were both divisive and still somehow very, very bland. 2019 was a damn good year for cinema, and yet we wound up with Todd Phillips’ Joker leading the pack with 11 nominations, all of which it might cleanly sweep. Now, we didn’t hate Joker or anything, but good lord.

The only reasonably good thing we can say about this is that it’s nice that the Academy is finally showing its true colors — they’re more impressed by Box Office numbers than they care to admit — if they’re going to totally snub movies like Uncut Gems, The Farewell and others. Speaking of those two films, A24 was, somehow, totally shut out of nominations beyond a cinematography nod for The Lighthouse.

It’s also very frustrating that women were, once again, totally absent from the Best Director nominees, even in a year where a film like Greta Gerwig’s Little Women is doing wonderfully with both critics and audiences. We’re not going to quibble with the very deserving nods for four out of the five directors, but we are starting to warm up to the idea that women should have their own separate category for director — it’s crystal clear that the Academy isn’t going to change this on their own, and the trickle-down effect that this new category might have on the down-ballot nominations has been understated by its opponents. Again, the acting categories are dominated by white faces, which is a tremendous bummer — how the hell do you snub Lupita Nyong’o but nominate Scarlett Johannson twice?

This list once again reinforces our belief that the Oscars should only be seen as a money-making opportunity for those degenerate gamblers out there, not as an objective statement about what the year’s best films are. Still, it’s hard not to be pissed off about this dumb list. What a way to start the day and the decade.

Here’s the full list of nominees:

Best Picture

Ford v Ferrari
The Irishman
Jojo Rabbit
Joker
Little Women
Marriage Story
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
1917
Parasite

Best Director

Martin Scorsese, The Irishman
Todd Phillips, Joker
Sam Mendes, 1917
Quentin Tarantino, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Bong Joon Ho, Parasite

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Antonio Banderas, Pain and Glory
Leonardo DiCaprio, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Adam Driver, Marriage Story
Joaquin Phoenix, Joker
Jonathan Pryce, The Two Popes

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Cynthia Erivo, Harriet
Scarlett Johansson, Marriage Story
Saoirse Ronan, Little Women
Charlize Theron, Bombshell
Renée Zellweger, Judy

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Tom Hanks, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
Anthony Hopkins, The Two Popes
Al Pacino, The Irishman
Joe Pesci, The Irishman
Brad Pitt, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

Kathy Bates, Richard Jewell
Laura Dern, Marriage Story
Scarlett Johansson, Jojo Rabbit
Florence Pugh, Little Women
Margot Robbie, Bombshell

Best Animated Feature

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
I Lost My Body
Klaus
Missing Link 
Toy Story 4

Best Adapted Screenplay

The Irishman
Jojo Rabbit
Joker
Little Women
The Two Popes

Best Original Screenplay

Knives Out
Marriage Story
1917
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Parasite

Best International Feature Film

Corpus Christi (Poland)
Honeyland (North Macedonia)
Les Miserables (France)
Pain and Glory (Spain)
Parasite (South Korea)

Best Documentary Feature

American Factory
The Cave
The Edge of Democracy
For Sama
Honeyland

Best Original Song

“I Can’t Let You Throw Yourself Away,” Toy Story 4
“(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again,” Rocketman
“I’m Standing With You,” Breakthrough
“Into the Unknown,” Frozen 2
“Stand Up,” Harriet

Best Original Score

Joker
Little Women
Marriage Story
1917
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Best Cinematography

The Irishman
Joker
The Lighthouse
1917 
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Best Film Editing

Ford v Ferrari
The Irishman
Jojo Rabbit
Joker
Parasite

Best Costume Design

Jojo Rabbit
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood 
The Irishman
Joker 
Little Women

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

Bombshell
Joker
Judy
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil
1917

Best Production Design

The Irishman
Jojo Rabbit
1917
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Parasite

Best Sound Editing

Ford v Ferrari
Joker 
1917
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood 
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Best Sound Mixing

Ad Astra
Ford v Ferrari 
Joker 
1917
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood 

Best Visual Effects

1917
Avengers: Endgame
The Irishman
The Lion King
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Best Documentary Short

In the Absence
Learning to Skateboard in a Warzone (If You’re a Girl)
Life Overtakes Me
St. Louis Superman
Walk Run Cha-Cha

Best Animated Short

Dcera (Daughter)
Hair Love
Kitbull
Memorable
Sister

Best Live Action Short

Brotherhood
Nefta Football Club
The Neighbors’ Window
Saria
A Sister

The Oscars will take place on February 9. Thank goodness they’re having them early this year: That way we can just get the disappointment over with.