Vanya Challenge: Can you listen to Tay Allyn’s “Mass Text” all the way through?


You know those Klondike Bar “5 Seconds To Glory” commercials where they put someone in an awkward situation and see if they can last long enough to be rewarded with a tasty treat? You know, like listening to your girlfriend talk about her boring-ass day, being stuck in an elevator while a couple baby-talks to each other, or dancing like a drunken fool at a company party — those sorts of things.

Well here comes the musical equivalent of that, a personal re-boot of Tay Allyn’s “Mass Text,” which we’re sure we heard a few years ago when she was called Taylor. Allyn is described as “Ke$ha without the sex, and Gaga without the avant garde,” and well, someone get the Cars on the phone, because that’s just what I needed.

Anyway, “Mass Text” is like a Kelly video on steroids, and instead of wanting shoes or to “borrow that top,” she’s pissed about not getting your mass text. We think.


Can you listen to it all the way through? It’s harder than it sounds.

Shit, at least Rebecca Black’s “Friday” — which this will no doubt be compared to — has a certain charm to it.

Hat tip (maybe?) to Mike Bishop of Crossroads Presents.