‘The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard’ trailer will get dads hyped

Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard
David Appleby/Lionsgate

Over the course of the last year, we’ve read enough articles about “the Quarantine 15” to make our head spin. Not only should it be completely acceptable and understandable for one to gain weight during a time of extreme stress and cultural pain, but we should take pains to normalize depictions of bodies of all shapes and sizes in our world regardless of said circumstance. That happened a few summers ago with the “Dad bod,” which saw slightly thicc guys receive their 15 minutes in the thirst spotlight, and we think it’s absolutely okay for us to take the good things about that attitude and extend it to everyone, regardless of size or gender. If you can slam a cold beverage while setting up a jungle gym, be it for child or cat, and swear when you hit your finger with that hammer that the instruction manual didn’t even tell you that you needed, congrats: You’re a dad. If you’ve ever rocked a pair of aviators like you’re our current president, you’re a dad. And, most importantly, if this trailer for The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard makes you laugh and take whoever is next to you to go see it, well, you’re a dad.

Peep it:

Here’s a synopsis:


“The world’s most lethal odd couple — bodyguard Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds) and hitman Darius Kincaid (Samuel L. Jackson) — are back on another life-threatening mission. Still unlicensed and under scrutiny, Bryce is forced into action by Darius’s even more volatile wife, the infamous international con artist Sonia Kincaid (Salma Hayek). As Bryce is driven over the edge by his two most dangerous protectees, the trio get in over their heads in a global plot and soon find that they are all that stand between Europe and a vengeful and powerful madman (Antonio Banderas). Joining in the fun and deadly mayhem is Morgan Freeman as…well, you’ll have to see.”

The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard arrives in theaters on June 16. And remember: Anybody who tells you you’re unworthy of anything based on your appearance can go fuck themselves, and if they don’t, Samuel L. Jackson and Ryan Reynolds will have something to say about that.