Between Adam Levine’s ugly-ass chest tattoos and a “Sweet Victory” tease that pissed everybody off at halftime and the Los Angeles Rams total inability to advance the ball in any meaningful way for 60 minutes of excruciatingly bad football (especially for fans outside of New England), it’s pretty safe to say that Super Bowl LIII was a disaster on almost every front [Editor’s Note: Except for, you know, the Patriots winning the Super Bowl].
Even the trailers, a bellwether as to the evening’s overall health, weren’t that great — some were undercut by big releases a few days before, others were for movies coming out in a week or so, others were 10 seconds long and therefore shorter than the Rams’ time of possession — but there were some that still excited and inflamed passions of the film fans in attendance at parties all over the country. We’ve compiled every trailer that aired during the Big Game for you in this article here, and ranked them from worst to best, for your viewing pleasure.
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This dead-in-the-water animated film cost over Paramount over $100 million and featured a sexual harassment scandal that caused the movie to be delayed for a number of years. This looks like the most half-assed attempt to grab the attention of children and in order to force their (soon-to-be) bored parents to take them to see this. Congratulations, Paramount: You’ve won the Worst Trailer of Super Bowl LIII award; please collect your free buffet ticket from the bathroom porter.