It’s been a pretty long and ugly January Monday, hasn’t it? At least it’s a bit warmer out, you might tell yourself, as you slouch over your keyboard and watch the light fade from view, the darkness of a cold night enveloping you like an ice bath. This is no way to be, you think, and you contemplate movie to someplace warm, like Florida. Well, definitely don’t do that, and why not take a bit of the edge off with a decent chuckle at the new trailer for Blockers (of the “cock-” variety, not the “beta-“), which is a new comedy starring John Cena and Leslie Mann in which they play parents trying to stop their daughters from fuckin’ on prom night. You’ll be surprised by the raunch and enamored all over again with John Cena, whose generous comedic talents are basically like light therapy lamps for incredibly shitty days.
Whoops, wrong video.
Watch this one instead:
First off, we’re absolutely and painfully embarrassed to admit that we laughed garishly at two points during this preview: The opening gag involving Cena chewing what he thinks is his wife’s lingerie “like the town billy goat,” and the entire butt-chugging bit in which Ike Barinholtz gets a mouthful of ass-beer, presumably in punishment for appearing in Bright.
Secondly, it’s still amazing to us how much funnier Cena is than so many of the professional comic actors that he’s surrounded with in movies like this- he stole the show in Trainwreck and is probably the only reason anybody remembers it — and we’re kind of looking forward to this, just by virtue of his appearance alone.
Other than that, it’s your average rote spring comedy option, though we’ll happily support it, given that it’s the directorial debut of Girlboss and Pitch Perfect writer Kay Cannon.