Master of Crush-Its: Chew on these custom-made heavy metal-themed Nutcrackers

When we interviewed King Diamond last week, we asked the metal legend all the important questions, like his thoughts on the evolution of corpse paint to his cult-classic ’80s holiday ripper “No Presents For Christmas.” But we missed an opportunity to ask him about some recent developments: He and other musicians being immortalized in a new line of Nutcrackers.

Joining the King the onetime Boston resident Samurai White’s “Heavy Metal Nutcracker” collection are Lemmy, Joey Ramone, Ronnie James Dio, Ozzy Osbourne, Keith Richards, Danzig, The Cure’s Robert Smith, Cliff Burton, Josh Homme, Joan Jett, Dio, Alice Cooper, Rickey Medlocke, Freddie Mercury, Abbath, and, of course, David Bowie.

There’s even a Dee Snider for your Trump-supporting uncle. (And yes, a few of these aren’t “heavy metal”, just roll with it).

Samurai White describes herself as “a multidisciplinary artist living in the greater Boston area,” and the Nutcrackers are for sale via her Etsy page. They run about eight-inches tall, are painted with acrylics and/or enamel, feature custom kanekalon hair, and heads sculpted out of wood pulp. They cost about $70 each.

“I started making Heavy Metal Nutcrackers in 2012,” she writes, “while living in Woodstock, Georgia, and have been slowly producing them from my home base in Boston. I also make portraits of Heavy Metal Bacteria, because there is nothing more metal than a cytokine storm. Unless it is set to Manowar.”

Hail, Samurai, hail.

Though most of the items on her Etsy page have been sold, she doesn’t mind cranking out a few orders in time for the holiday season. So, uhhh, get crackin’.

Check a few out below, h/t to Carrie Brownstein on Instagram.

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