Spandex Stockings: The Darkness release throwback Christmas single, ‘I Am Santa’

By now, you’ve figured out if you believe in a thing called love. By next Friday, you’ll know if you believe in a thing called Christmas, thanks to the Darkness.

With “I Am Santa”, the British glam band is here to serenade us all with the true spirit of the holidays, just in time to sit down at the Thanksgiving table and debate Syrian refugees with your Trump-supporting Uncle Tony.

It’s the Darkness’ best season greeting since 2003’s “Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End)”, and this new track comes complete with yuletide merriment and a vintage-looking holiday video. “I am Santa/Bringer of joy/I am Santa/Manufacturer and distributor of toys,” sings Justin Hawkins, and we’re sure it sounds great blasting out of Bose speakers from a jolly-ass kiosk deep within the bowels of the Natick Mall.

The song is a little bit “Do They Know It’s Christmas,” a little bit U2 and Bruce, and a whole lot of spandex stocking.

Is that glitter in your Baileys Irish Cream? Yes, why it is.