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World Serious: Which of these three 2013 St. Louis Cardinals fight songs is the worst?

 

The St. Louis Cardinals are a great baseball team playing in a great baseball town, and we have to respect them for knocking out the Hollywood Dodgers in the National League Championship Series. But as the Redbirds roll into Fenway on Wednesday for Game 1 of the 2013 World Series — a rematch of the lopsided 2004 sweep at the hands of our Boston Red Sox — the team’s homegrown rally songs leave a bit to be desired.

Maybe we expected more from the city that gave us Nelly, Chingy, Story Of The Year, and… uhh, Gravity Kills (remember “Guilty?”). Or maybe we’re just spoiled by “Tesse” by the Dropkick Murphys and the Fenway Faithful singing Bob Marley every time Shane “Grand Slam” Victorino steps into the batter’s box.

Either way, here are three head-spinning fan songs that are rooting a bit too hard for that other team. Sadly, there are no Wacha Flocka Flame parodies, though we’re sure they exist.

 

Instead, here we have an abortion of a song from Akoostic Sessions, a Macklemore & Ryan Lewis “Thrift Shop” parody from a few morning talk show hosts, and an admittedly not that terrible Top 40 hopeful jam from Jonathan Gundry.

Too bad relief pitcher Scott Radinsky wasn’t still pitching for the Cards, even his Eptiaph-signed punk band Pulley could have topped these…