You know, we had a strange premonition that Tommy Wirkola’s Violent Night would find a home on pay cable — that big farm upstate where movies like this go to find all the Dads who didn’t leave the house to see it when it was in theaters — and we were exactly right. The David Harbour-as-ass-whipping-Santa movie’s become somewhat of a cult classic. It’s done so well, in fact, that they’ve somehow made a sequel, and you better bet it’s called Violent Night 2. No “Die Harder” here.
It’s always kind of silly when they start putting out the Halloween candy right after the Fourth of July, but it’s understandable that Lionsgate would want to drop a trailer for it on a random Tuesday in August. You just can’t shadow-drop a movie like this. You have to ease the world into… Kristen Bell as Mrs. Claus. Yeah, you read that right.
Peep it:
Here’s an extra long synopsis for Violent Night 2:
“If you’re nice, you get presents from the Big Guy. If you’re naughty, you get justice. David Harbour reprises his role as Santa Claus in a propulsive new chapter in yuletide mayhem from 87North—the powerhouse producers of ‘Bullet Train,’ ‘John Wick,’ ‘The Fall Guy,’ ‘Atomic Blonde’ and the ‘Nobody’ franchise—and returning action director Tommy Wirkola.
In 2022’s bare-knuckle holiday sensation, ‘Violent Night,’ an embittered Santa, armed with lethal combat skills, took out a team of mercenaries to rescue a girl and her family. Now, not-so-jolly Saint Nick suits up again to take on a ruthless gangster (Emmy and Golden Globe nominee Jared Harris) terrorizing the merchants of the Silver Bell Mall.
But when Santa forgets the true meaning of Christmas, he finds himself in the heart of a lively mall community in desperate need of his help. Sapped of his magic, he’ll need another way to take on the goons threatening the mall, and time is running out. Santa has to rediscover his faith in goodness and call in some last-minute reinforcements from the one person no baddie wants to tangle with: Mrs. Claus (Emmy and Golden Globe nominee Kristen Bell).”
Jesus. Does anybody need to watch the movie at this point?
Yes. The answer is yes. Or you’ll end up on the naughty list. Don’t end up on the naughty list: Violent Night 2 hits theaters on December 4.