Dear Lebron, ‘$%&# You’ — The people of Boston Calling Music Festival


Bostonians may be relatively sidetracked this weekend as Boston Calling has arrived, but while many are anticipating Eminem’s headlining performance tonight, please don’t begin to think that it could possibly stop festival-going sports fans from letting LeBron James know what’s good as he makes his way back to Boston for what could, in turn, be his own kind of finale come Sunday night.

As music fans moseyed around looking for something to do after another round of CanJam or Cornhole, we asked a few Boston Celtics fans just what they felt about “The King.” As tip-off inches closer and the anxiety of a possible upset heightens — as you can imagine, emotions were high — the responses we got from festival-goers varied from goofy to obscene to straight-up analytical.

“You’re about to get smacked by Jaylen Brown, and you’ll have six turnovers — again,” said Boston resident Nick Evans, referencing James’ Game 5 performance at the Garden, while Tyler Hornby of Malden laid down some cold, hard Al Horford dunk-esque truth that is on the mind of every green-bleeding Bostonian. “He could drop 50, 60 points, and he’ll still lose because his team is ass, and he’ll only flop his way to those points while bitching about every call. Ya know, his usual,” said Hornby.

While some chose a road paved with statistics, others were not so forgiving of James’ past antics and demeanor against the Celtics, and they wanted to remind him that he has his work cut out for him once he hits the parquet floor tonight.

“You should get ready, LeBron,” warned Austin House of Sandown, New Hampshire. “I don’t know how you’re feeling right now, but for the next 10 or 15 years, you should be kept awake at night, scared of Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum. You’re gonna be shaking in your boots because of those two sub-twenty-one year old studs.”

Andrew McSheffrey added to the comparison-centered trash talk, with a bold prediction, veiled in a obscure diss: “Semi Ojeleye is gonna put up 25 on you, and I hope you know that you’ll never be as good as Kurt Rambis.”

While Griffin Ell of Wakefield pulled no punches, describing James as a “greased cunt,” Brandon Allen of Haverhill, continued the scorched-earth portion of answers, and was followed by a number of folks who chose to cut deep with their insight.

“Listen, LeBron — you’re just a trash-ass old man,” said Allen. “I don’t wanna say I hope your ankle snaps, because that’s bad karma for us, but if I’m being honest, I hope you can’t walk on it tonight.”

Some weren’t as longwinded as others, but packed just as much of a sucker punch — but not everything said about James can be negative. Just most of it.

Bobby Brodeur issued the lone compliment in a small ocean of impassioned insults, admitting “I hate him, but he’s good.”

Even with the buckets of Boston-based beatdowns, possibly the best answer at Boston Calling came from John, a Kyrie Jersey-donning traveler from New Jersey: “LeBron, you’ll have to have one hell of a game if you think you’ll be able to win a Game 7 at the Garden.”

Massachusetts thanks you for your assistance, John from New Jersey.

Listen, if we as a collective sports-frenzied entity have to eat crow come Monday morning, then so be it – but Boston sports fans stand by their boys in green, come hell or high point totals.

Join in on the fun tonight by using the hashtag #DearLeBron, and follow Vanyaland on Twitter @Vanyaland617. Featured image by Keith Alison via Wikipedia Creative Commons.