‘The Predator’ Teaser: Give us this movie right now, please


So, Shane Black (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, The Nice Guys), alongside an all-star cast featuring the likes of Boyd Holbrook, Keegan-Michael Key, Olivia Munn, and even Jacob Tremblay, has made a Predator movie — called The Predator no less — that is going to hit theaters in less than five months.

We have to say right the fuck now: Sound the alarms, people, this movie is going to be dope as hell. If you need any more proof than the words “Shane” and “Black” listed above (and the man knows his Predator, having been killed by one in the first film back in ’86), 20th Century Fox dropped the film’s first trailer on Thursday, in which plenty of crazy shit happens to a small suburban neighborhood.

Try not to faint while you watch this:

Man, that really washes the taste of Aliens vs. Predator right out of our mouths, right?

Look, we’re gonna level with you: The Predator franchise hasn’t been that great since our film editor hit kindergarten. Sure, we had Robert Rodriguez’s attempt at doing something new and invigorating with the film series with Predators back in 2010, riding what looked to be one of the first major waves of fanboy-placating to come out of modern Hollywood and suffering for it all the same. There’s nothing less satisfying in all of genre sequel filmmaking than that “Long Tall Sally” needle drop at the end of that film (except for maybe the whole of The Sting II). So it’s been kind of weird to see Ridley Scott’s exploration of the origins of the Xenomorph without any sort of acknowledgement for his intergalactic brother.

We think that’ll change in September, though. There’s so much cool shit in this preview (any and all shots of the Predator in action, of course, but also the opening with the crashing spacecraft controlled by the kid from Room). There’s even some of Black’s trademark humor present in the trailer, which is just wonderful. All in all, we’re pumped as hell.

The Predator hits theaters everywhere on September 14.