If you’ve been on Twitter this past week, you know what we’re talking about. Some millionaire had the gall to tell young people not to eat the delicious meal, as that $22 could be better spent buying a house or investing in the economy or doing absolutely anything to forestall death itself and the mounting feelings of worthlessness that you’ve tried to fill with all of your wealth and possessions even though you’re still going to die alone, miserably alone, and death doesn’t give a good goddamn whether or not you’ve owned a house or invested well for your retirement or that you squandered your life in the pursuit of coin for shockingly low wages for those potential futures when you could have been spending on the now, finding new experiences, hearing new music, and tasting new and interesting foods, instead of just wasting away and vanishing into the ether.
We’re not saying that avocado toast can forestall the inevitable end, exactly (though you never know, it is a super food), but we are saying that when you’re on your deathbed 50 years from now, it may be with full of regret about the experiences you missed out on. Regrets, of course, such as passing up the chance to get free avocado toast when you hit up Boston Calling this weekend.
Yes, that’s right, as a promotion for the new film Ingrid Goes West, the film’s distributor, Neon, will be giving away free slices of avocado toast right next to the ferris wheel at the festival this weekend, and they’ve provided us a handy guide (see below) about how to properly consume and instagram the shit out of your experience of eating avocado toast for all to see, to know that you’ve done so. Supplies will be limited, but there’ll be some available each day for your enjoyment.
Here’s a synopsis for Ingrid Goes West, in case the trailer doesn’t make sense to you:
“Following the death of her mother and a series of self-inflicted setbacks, young Ingrid Thorburn (Aubrey Plaza) escapes a humdrum existence by moving out West to befriend her Instagram obsession and LA socialite Taylor Sloane (Elizabeth Olsen). After a quick bond is forged between these unlikeliest of friends, the façade begins to crack in both women’s lives — with comically malicious results.”
Eat up, y’all. Ingrid Goes West hits theaters in August.