Breaking Un-News: Miley Cyrus is not moving to Boston, so stop posting that stupid link

 
 

Clint Eastwood is not moving to Massachusetts. And Miley Cyrus is not, either

For some reason, fake news of the Dirty Harry actor moving to Concord, Massachusetts, has been making the rounds this week, trumped this morning only by word that Miley Cyrus is also coming to the area, with plans to settle here in Boston. Sorry, Somerville.

But hey! Maybe the city really left a mark after that Dead Petz show at the House of Blues a few weeks ago? Or maybe people are just sharing articles after only reading the headline.

The Cyrus goof comes from the McKenzie Post, which bills itself as “the premiere fantasy news site in the world!” (The exclamation point is theirs.) The Contact Us page comes with this disclaimer: “All news articles on mckenziepost.com are satire or pure fantasy.”

Well then what a fantasy this is. Someone get the wrecking ball.

“In a surprise to everyone in Los Angeles and certainly everyone in Boston, pop superstar Miley Cyrus announced today in an interview that she was moving to Boston,” the Post writes. “Miley said that she was ‘tired of the LA lifestyle’ and that she wanted to ‘live in a place where people were just people and whose sincerity you didn’t have to question.'”

First, it’d be nice if someone from Los Angeles moved to Boston. But we’re thinking more of Clippers star Blake Griffin. Or Dodgers pitcher Clayton Kershaw. Or IHEARTCOMIX’s Franki Chan. That would certainly make up for all the artists headed to SoCal lately. Second, people are people so hard in this town we’re all busy whistling Depeche Mode’s worst song ever out of our asses as we wait for the T to finally show up.

The Post goes on (and on): “She recently visited Boston while spending a few days in the area to visit a relative. According to her assistant, ‘Miley immediately fell in love with the city and the people of Boston and was telling everyone that she was going to move there.’

And here we thought she was just leaving the country if Donald Trump got elected president. We guess moving to Boston is as close to leaving the country without actually, you know… leaving the country. And if she ever did come here to reside, her band would certainly be ignored by the national media. So she’d have that going for her. Oh Miley, there’s always VanyaRadio!

“This feels like the place I need to be at this time in my life,” Miley “told” the magazine, which was not named, obviously, via the Post. “I’m not giving up on my career. I just want to move to a place that feels so different than what I’ve been used to for so long. For me, that place is Boston.”

Oh, how we wish this were actually true.