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Noelstradamus: New Coldplay album will be hand-delivered to your doorstep by Chris Martin while the band fixes up your home

 
 

Ladies and gents, Noelstradamus is back.

Former Oasis guitarist and current High Flying Bird leader Noel Gallagher has looked once again into the future of the music industry, and this time he sees something even more shocking than U2 giving away their album for free, which he so famously predicted back in 2008.

Speaking to Radio 4’s John Wilson for the BBC series Mastertapes, which broadcasted in the UK last night, Gallagher has predicted that Coldplay will trump all previous attempts to package and market a record, with frontman Chris Martin personally hand-delivering their album to fans, door-to-door with bonus cash in hand, while the rest of the band offers to fix up your house.

Coldplay will fix up your garden, clean your gutters, take out your recycling — you name it.

Gallagher said all this nonsense about free albums and pay-what-you-want campaigns started in 2007 with Radiohead’s In Rainbows, and it’s been a downward spiral ever since. From Noelstradamus, via the NME:

“All this started with Radiohead didn’t it, and people have been reacting to that ever since… I remember the Kaiser Chiefs were like, ‘Make your own record, we’ll give you a pound.’ What? You’re giving people a pound?!

It remains to be seen how Coldplay react to it.

I firmly believe we’ll all get a knock on the door at some point over the next two years and Chris [Martin] will be stood there. And he’ll say, ‘Alright man, you know, here’s a Coldplay album.’ And you’ll go, ‘Thanks.’ And there’s a ladder and he’ll say, ‘Bass player’s just fixing the guttering, Johnny’s round the back, he’s doing the gardening and I think Will’s going to put the recycling out, so enjoy.’ And then he’ll come back and say, ‘Oh, I forgot — here’s a tenner.’ Who knows what’s going to happen.

But for the record, no-one’s getting anything out of me for free.”

Coldplay announced last week they are currently recording their latest album, tentatively called A Head Full of Dreams, and it could very well be the band’s last.

As for Gallagher, his band, Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds, will release their second record, Chasing Yesterday, in March 2015. And you can bet Liam’s last dollar it will cost you… something.

Here’s the first single: