Halloween is made for horror stories, but this one is just next level. And by “next level,” we mean the lowest level humanly possible for today’s generation. Who needs Slutty Whatever costumes when you can dress up your young daughter as “Molly Monster?”
For fuck’s sake.
The get-up includes “Dress, Headband, Kandy Necklace, Pacifier, Footless Tights, Glovettes, Kandy Bracelet, Legwarmers, and a wig.” Dress your son up as a medic and recreate some of the year’s worst scenes! Crush up Smartees and pretend to bump MDMA!
And we thought Bloody Aaron Hernandez was going to be this year’s offensive Halloween costume.
We have no idea if this is real — Update: it’s not — and we HOPE it’s some twisted parody of all the redonkulous Halloween costumes that make the rounds — Update: it is.
But something tells us this could be real. Why? Because 2013.
