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Here are your 2019 Golden Globe nominees

Spoiler alert: The Hollywood Foreign Press Association still sucks

Vice

It’s not a very well-kept secret around these parts that we absolutely hate the fucking Golden Globes and every single thing that the “Oscars, but bad” stands for. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association have always been and are currently bad at what they do, and the few times in which they were on the right side of history (say, when they awarded Brokeback Mountain instead of Crash Best Drama back in 2005) aren’t outweighed by the utter fucking insanity of an awards body that somehow thinks that nominating a film like Bohemian Rhapsody — even with the optics of such a choice well apparent to them in a Hollywood still stinging from the revelations about certain bad actors behind the scenes — is a great idea. It’s all exhausting and not worth getting angry over, given that these awards are mainly an excuse for a group of star-fucking journalists to hang out with celebrities, but we present to you the nominees just in case you need some sort of drama-focused escape from the mundanities of modern life.

Adam McKay’s Christian Bale-led Dick Cheney biopic Vice led the pack of Film nominees with six nods, which seems to be a pretty baffling choice given how the press has been responding to it in the last several weeks. On the TV side, The Assassination of Giovanni Versace: American Crime Story received four. We know jack shit about television, so we’ll just say that we liked the first season of American Crime Story and are happy that the second season sits high on our watchlist when football season ends. But hey, these are the Golden Globes, where the rules are made-up and the points don’t matter. We will say that we’re happy that Eighth Grade‘s Elsie Fisher was nominated, though. Good for her.

The Golden Globes, hosted by Sandra Oh and Andy Samberg, will air on January 6, 2019. Here’s the full list of nominees:

Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Amy Adams (Sharp Objects)
Patricia Arquette (Escape at Dannemora)
Connie Britton (Dirty John)
Laura Dern (The Tale)
Regina King (Seven Seconds)

Best Television Series – Musical or Comedy
Barry (HBO)
The Good Place (NBC)
Kidding (Showtime)
The Kominsky Method (Netflix)
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Amazon)

Best Motion Picture – Foreign Language
Capernaum
Girl
Never Look Away
Roma
Shoplifters

Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Antonio Banderas, Genius: Picasso
Daniel Bruhl, The Alienist
Darren Criss, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story
Benedict Cumberbatch, Patrick Melrose
Hugh Grant, A Very English Scandal

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Alex Borstein, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Patricia Clarkson, Sharp Objects
Penelope Cruz, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story
Thandie Newton, Westworld
Yvonne Strahovski, The Handmaid’s Tale

Best Original Score – Motion Picture
Marco Beltrami (A Quiet Place)
Alexandre Desplat (Isle of Dogs)
Ludwig Göransson (Black Panther)
Justin Hurwitz (First Man)
Marc Shaiman (Mary Poppins Returns)

Best Television Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
The Alienist (TNT)
The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story (FX)
Escape at Dannemora (Showtime)
Sharp Objects (HBO)
A Very English Scandal (Amazon)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Alan Arkin, The Kominsky Method
Kieran Culkin, Succession
Edgar Ramirez, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story
Ben Whishaw, A Very English Scandal
Henry Winkler, Barry

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy
Kristen Bell, The Good Place
Candice Bergen, Murphy Brown
Alison Brie, GLOW
Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Debra Messing, Will & Grace

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy
Sasha Baron Cohen (Who Is America?)
Jim Carrey (Kidding)
Michael Douglas (The Kominsky Method)
Donald Glover (Atlanta)
Bill Hader (Barry)

Best Motion Picture – Animated
Incredibles 2
Isle of Dogs
Mirai
Ralph Breaks the Internet
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Drama
Caitriona Balfe (Outlander)
Elisabeth Moss (The Handmaid’s Tale)
Sandra Oh (Killing Eve)
Julia Roberts (Homecoming)
Keri Russell (The Americans)

Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
Christian Bale (Vice)
Lin-Manuel Miranda (Mary Poppins Returns)
Viggo Mortensen (Green Book)
Robert Redford (The Old Man & the Gun)
John C. Reilly (Stan & Ollie)

Best Director – Motion Picture

Bradley Cooper, A Star Is Born
Alfonso Cuaron, Roma
Peter Farrelly, Green Book
Spike Lee, BlacKkKlansman
Adam McKay, Vice

Best Television Series – Drama
The Americans
Bodyguard
Homecoming
Killing Eve
Pose

Best Actress in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture
Amy Adams, Vice
Claire Foy, First Man
Regina King, If Beale Street Could Talk
Emma Stone, The Favourite
Rachel Weisz, The Favourite

Best Original Song – Motion Picture
“All the Stars” (Black Panther)
“Girl in the Movies” (Dumplin’)
“Requiem For A Private War” (A Private War)
“Revelation” (Boy Erased)
“Shallow” (A Star Is Born)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Drama
Jason Bateman, Ozark
Stephan James, Homecoming
Richard Madden, Bodyguard
Billy Porter, Pose
Matthew Rhys, The Americans

Best Actor in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture
Mahershala Ali, Green Book
Timothee Chalamet, Beautiful Boy
Adam Driver, BlacKkKlansman
Richard E. Grant, Can You Ever Forgive Me?
Sam Rockwell, Vice

Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama
Glenn Close, The Wife
Lady Gaga, A Star Is Born
Nicole Kidman, Destroyer
Melissa McCarthy, Can You Ever Forgive Me
Rosamund Pike, A Private War

Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
Emily Blunt, Mary Poppins Returns
Olivia Colman, The Favourite
Elsie Fisher, Eighth Grade
Charlize Theron, Tully
Constance Wu, Crazy Rich Asians

Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama
Bradley Cooper, A Star Is Born
Willem Dafoe, At Eternity’s Gate
Lucas Hedges, Boy Erased
Rami Malek, Bohemian Rhapsody
John David Washington, BlacKkKlansman

Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
Crazy Rich Asians
The Favourite
Green Book
Mary Poppins Returns
Vice

Best Motion Picture – Drama
Black Panther
BlacKkKlansman
Bohemian Rhapsody
If Beale Streat Could Talk
A Star Is Born

Best Screenplay – Motion Picture
Alfonso Cuaron (Roma)
Deborah Davis and Tony McNamara (The Favourite)
Barry Jenkins (If Beale Street Could Talk)
Adam McKay (Vice)
Peter Farrelly, Nick Vallelonga, Brian Currie (Green Book)

Featured image from ‘Vice’ by Annapurna Pictures.