You knew it was coming: Blumhouse and Universal made so much goddamned money off of Five Nights at Freddy’s that they were just gonna have to make a sequel. The only question is whether Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 will have the same skibidi rizz or whatever to hold the attention of Zoomer and Gen Alpha audiences. Oh, who are we kidding — of course it will.
Someone is going to make a TikTok challenge about, like, messily eating crunchy peanut butter during a screening of this and, next thing you know, we’ll get CNN articles about how to protect your kid from going into anaphylaxis while at the movie theater for Zootopia 2 a month later. Universal dropped a trailer, and it’s exactly what you expect. Enjoy.
Peep it:
Here’s a synopsis for Five Nights at Freddy’s 2:
“They’re not just at Freddy’s anymore.
In 2023, Blumhouse’s box-office horror phenomenon ‘Five Nights at Freddy’s,’ based on the blockbuster game series by Scott Cawthon, became the highest-grossing horror film of the year. Now, a shocking new chapter of animatronic terror begins.
One year has passed since the supernatural nightmare at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. The stories about what transpired there have been twisted into a campy local legend, inspiring the town’s first ever Fazfest. Former security guard Mike (Josh Hutcherson) and police officer Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail) have kept the truth from Mike’s 11-year-old sister, Abby (Piper Rubio), concerning the fate of her animatronic friends. But when Abby sneaks out to reconnect with Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, and Foxy, it will set into motion a terrifying series of events, revealing dark secrets about the true origin of Freddy’s, and unleashing a long-forgotten horror hidden away for decades.”
Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 will hit theaters on… December 5? What the fuck? Why? The first one hit at basically the perfect moment for a meme horror flick — you know, Halloween Weekend. Why on Earth would you kneecap a movie like this? Is it because people actually went to see it instead of watching it on Peacock? This is just nuts — almost as nuts as thinking M3GAN 2.0 was summer blockbuster material.