The Oscars — excuse us, The 97th Academy Awards — happened on Sunday night, and for all of our bluster about how this might be an exciting ceremony, it was kind of boring. Well, unless you wanted to see Doja Cat sing “Diamonds are Forever” for a truly out-of-nowhere James Bond tribute or cared about what Adam Sandler was wearing (he’s in ball shorts — classic!), that is. Conan made a “Not Like Us” joke! It truly is a new era of Oscar broadcasting, huh?
As predicted by oddsmakers, Anora swept almost every category it was nominated in (sorry, Yura Borisov), and it was an excellent night for men who are aging exceptionally well. We must know Sean Baker and Adrien Brody’s skincare routines, because damn. Based on his Letterboxd, Baker’s secret to staying young is a healthy diet of the wackiest exploitation cinema you have ever seen, but we’re not too sure about Brody’s. Anyhow, the one major upset of the night was in Best Actress, which went to the wonderful Mikey Madison (one has to wonder if Demi Moore turned to Leo DiCaprio and asked him if he still had that flamethrower from Once Upon a Time in Hollywood), who deserved the hell out of that award even if all of these accolades should have come Baker’s way three years ago for Red Rocket. We will continue to die on that hill.
To get a little more serious, here are two lessons to take away from this year’s ceremony. First, the demographic shift in Oscar voters has greatly impacted what movies walk away with hardware. Stop paying attention to those “anonymous Oscar voter” blogs the trades run: They’re dogshit bellwethers from folks who are way, way too old. Sure, we might like them because they’re catty (and absolute morons), but they’re not worth anything other than entertainment value: movies like Everything Everywhere All at Once, Parasite, and Anora would have been frozen out in previous years, and now they’re getting the top honors (there’s a real good chance that companies like NEON and A24 will continue to dominate these awards). Second, use AI at your peril: These are industry awards, after all (I’m still kind of stunned that Brody won, but whatever), and folks aren’t happy about losing work. We have a weird feeling that AI will catch some of those Netflix strays: as soon as you cop to “enhancing” aspects of your movies with it, you’ll lose the same crowd that refused to vote for Roma.
So, congrats to all those honored (we called that Flow upset) and see you next year for the same old goofy shit as always. Here’s the full list of winners and nominees.
Best Picture
WINNER: Anora
The Brutalist
A Complete Unknown
Conclave
Dune: Part Two
Emilia Pérez
I’m Still Here
Nickel Boys
The Substance
Wicked
Best Actress
WINNER: Mikey Madison – Anora
Cynthia Erivo – Wicked
Karla Sofía Gascón – Emilia Pérez
Demi Moore – The Substance
Fernanda Torres – I’m Still Here
Best Actor
WINNER: Adrien Brody – The Brutalist
Timothée Chalamet – A Complete Unknown
Colman Domingo – Sing Sing
Ralph Fiennes – Conclave
Sebastian Stan – The Apprentice
Best Supporting Actress
WINNER: Zoe Saldaña – Emilia Pérez
Monica Barbaro – A Complete Unknown
Ariana Grande – Wicked
Felicity Jones – The Brutalist
Isabella Rossellini – Conclave
Best Supporting Actor
WINNER: Kieran Culkin – A Real Pain
Yura Borisov – Anora
Edward Norton – A Complete Unknown
Guy Pearce – The Brutalist
Jeremy Strong – The Apprentice
Best Director
WINNER: Sean Baker – Anora
Jacques Audiard – Emilia Pérez
Brady Corbet – The Brutalist
Coralie Fargeat – The Substance
James Mangold – A Complete Unknown
Best International Feature
WINNER: I’m Still Here – Brazil
The Girl with the Needle – Denmark
Emilia Pérez – France
The Seed of the Sacred Fig – Germany
Flow – Latvia
Best Animated Feature
WINNER: Flow
Inside Out 2
Memoir of a Snail
Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl
The Wild Robot
Best Original Screenplay
WINNER: Anora – Sean Baker
The Brutalist – Brady Corbet and Mona Fastvold
A Real Pain – Jesse Eisenberg
September 5 – Moritz Binder, Tim Fehlbaum, Alex David
The Substance – Coralie Fargeat
Best Adapted Screenplay
WINNER: Conclave – Peter Straughan
A Complete Unknown – Jay Cocks and James Mangold
Emilia Pérez – Jacques Audiard
Nickel Boys – RaMell Ross and Joslyn Barnes
Sing Sing – Clint Bentley and Greg Kwedar
Best Original Song
WINNER: “El Mal” – Emilia Pérez
“Never Too Late” – Elton John: Never Too Late
“Mi Camino “- Emilia Pérez
“Like A Bird” – Sing Sing
“The Journey” – The Six Triple Eight
Best Original Score
WINNER: The Brutalist
Conclave
Emilia
Wicked
The Wild Robot
Best Documentary Feature
WINNER: No Other Land
Black Box Diaries
Porcelain War
Soundtrack to a Coup d’Etat
Sugarcane
Best Costume Design
WINNER: Wicked
Nosferatu
A Complete Unknown
Conclave
Gladiator II
Best Make-up and Hairstyling
WINNER: The Substance
A Different Man
Emilia Pérez
Nosferatu
Wicked
Best Production Design
WINNER: Wicked
The Brutalist
Dune: Part Two
Nosferatu
Conclave
Best Sound
WINNER: Dune: Part Two
A Complete Unknown
Emilia Pérez
Wicked
The Wild Robot
Best Film Editing
WINNER: Anora
The Brutalist
Conclave
Emilia Pérez
Wicked
Best Cinematography
WINNER: The Brutalist
Dune: Part Two
Emilia Pérez
Maria
Nosferatu
Best Visual Effects
WINNER: Dune: Part Two
Alien: Romulus
Better Man
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes
Wicked
Best Live-Action Short
WINNER: I’m Not a Robot
Anuja
The Last Ranger
A Lien
The Man Who Could Not Remain Silent
Best Animated Short
WINNER: In the Shadow of the Cypress
Beautiful Men
Magic Candies
Wander to Wonder
Yuck!
Best Documentary Short
WINNER: The Only Girl in the Orchestra
Death by Numbers
I Am Ready, Warden
Incident
Instruments of a Beating Heart