One thing that’s wonderful about the NBA Playoffs — the Conference Finals and the Finals themselves specifically — is that ESPN makes these absolutely goofy movie tie-in ads for whatever sponsor they’ve got lined up in a given year. Ever want to hear Stephen A. Smith yell about the teamwork required for the crew of the Prometheus to survive? Well, if you were to tune in to your average SportsCenter (or SportsCentre if you’re Canadian) circa summer 2012, you would have. This year’s featured film is David Leitch’s Bullet Train, and we’ve got to say that this brand-new trailer that Sony dropped earlier on Tuesday does a way, way better job at selling this movie than an annoyed-looking Aaron Taylor-Johnson can. We’ve heard good things, and we’re quite excited.
Peep it:
Here’s a synopsis, which reveals that Brad Pitt’s character’s name is “Ladybug,” which we find hysterical for reasons we can’t quite articulate:
“In Bullet Train, Brad Pitt stars as ‘Ladybug,’ an unlucky assassin determined to do his job peacefully after one too many gigs gone off the rails. Fate, however, may have other plans, as Ladybug’s latest mission puts him on a collision course with lethal adversaries from around the globe – all with connected, yet conflicting, objectives – on the world’s fastest train…and he’s got to figure out how to get off. From the director of ‘Deadpool 2,’ David Leitch, the end of the line is only the beginning in a wild, non-stop thrill ride through modern-day Japan.”
Bullet Train will make its scheduled stop in a theater near you on August 5. Here’s to hoping it’s not as late as the Green Line. But, thanks to the last few years, we’ve learned to never accept a release date set in stone, and it’s probably a good thing that we’re all taking things a little slower: it just gives Tom Cruise more time to prove that he, not the dinosaurs or Minions, rules the universe.