That weird new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie is coming out this Friday, and there’s one dude who is just not feeling the film’s EDM-inspired theme song.
That dude is Vanilla Ice.
The man who infamously brought us “Ninja Rap” from 1991’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze slammed “Shell Shocked,” which features Wiz Khalifa, Juicy J, Ty Dolla $ign, and the kinda-cute lyric “You know I got your back like a turtle shell.”
Speaking to GQ, Vanilla offers an emphatic “No ninja, no ninja, no!”
That cartoon about crime-fighting mutant turtles eating pizza you loved as a kid is now, again, a live action explosionfest. And in the grand tradition of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies, there’s a new “Ninja Rap” about, well, crime-fighting mutant turtles eating pizza: “Shell Shocked” by Wiz Khalifa, Juicy J, and Ty Dolla $ign. So we asked Vanilla Ice, the original rap ninja and guest music critic, to review the new track.
Vanilla Ice: “With respect to all of the artists, the song doesn’t really do it for me. It feels a little artificial — what I mean by that is that it sounds like a bunch of executives in the corporate world put it together. It really does not fit the theme of the Ninja Turtles legend. I think you have to understand, and be a true Ninja, to possess the Magic to really pull off the secret sound.”
Here are both tracks for your listening pleasure.
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