Let’s face it: This is already an awkward holiday season. The world is on fire, the unscrupulous are in charge, and Christmas just doesn’t feel so Christmas-y, even with Santa expected to slide down our collective chimneys in 15 short days. And as a result of all this, all that, and *gestures broadly at everything*, a fresh crop of seasonally reflective holiday tunes is soundtracking the unified eye-roll across December. Below are five new (and in some cases, rebooted) tracks that offer a melancholic, dismissive or realistic take on the holiday season, and in each, its lyrical agenda is coyfully hidden under all the charm and cheer of what we’ve come to expect from the usual harvest of Christmas tunes. Make room on your holiday playlist, and remember, we’re all in this jolly bullshit together.
BOYR!OT, ‘I Hate The Holidays’
Those who detest the Christmas season — from forced cheer to unruly shoppers to the pressures of family festivities — are now given the greatest gift of them all: A new satirical anthem from BOYR!OT dubbed “I Hate The Holidays.” The latest from the Los Angeles alternative rock band gets to its message without haste, opening with lyrics of “I hate this time of year / I never had Christmas cheer / It’s more like Christmas fear / Just pour me another beer.” Brendan Eprile breaks it all down: “[It’s] the ultimate anti-holiday anthem perfect for the grinches who are sick of holiday cheer, cynics tired of boring Christmas music, or Jews who can’t stand Christmas getting all the credit.” Of course, like most Scrooges throughout the season, the boisterous track ends on a positive note, revealing that even all the Christmas nonsense is somewhat tolerable when endured alongside a special person who can share in the yule-tide dismay. Now, that is the spirit.
Tanner Usrey, ’26th of December’
The day after Christmas means different things to different people. For some, it’s a shopping day, where all the gift cards pulled from stockings are spent with reckless abandon; for others, it represents a bittersweet come-down, where the momentum and joy of the weeks leading up to Christmas instantly dissipate and reveal a post-holiday sadness. Tanner Usrey has channeled that latter sentiment into a majestic Americana twirl called “26th of December,” and with it comes an understanding that Boxing Day is just a holiday hangover for most. “‘26th of December’ was written with Dave Cobb and Leroy Powell while we were in the studio working on my next album,” says the Texas-born country artist. “We were sitting around talking about how the saddest day of the year always feels like the 26th of December – after the lights get taken down, the kids have already stopped playing with the toys, and the money spent on Christmas hits people. Then it took on a whole life of its own. I’m stoked for people to hear it.” There are no returns on this emotion.
Rikke, ‘Spare Key’
Each Christmas morning, loneliness is a gift many of us find so neatly wrapped under the tree, and Rikke confronts that emotion with Bailey’s-flavored melancholy on “Spare Key” (its title appearing plural on Spotify). The Norwegian singer-songwriter first unveiled the tender ballad in 2022, and it gets repolished and rebooted now for the upcoming season, where emotions are sure to run as high as Rudolph gliding across the smoggy sky. An outlet for emotion, “Spare Key” was written in a single take and crafted within 10 minutes. “One of the worst things you can do to someone is not be dependable,” says Rikke. “Living with uncertainty leaves deep marks on people & often results in anxiety & issues of trust. ‘Spare Key’ is a song about uncertainty, not knowing, & a broken heart that has learnt to heal itself to then go on & help others. Something that I now realize can help you in healing yourself.” The Scandinavians always have a certain way of looking at things.
King of Cups, ‘Merry Christmas, Don’t Get Me Anything’
Last year, King of Cups declared “The War on Christmas” with an electric pop-punk banger pushing back against the more cynical aspects of the holiday. Now, the Los Angeles band takes on the holy spirit of consumerism with “Merry Christmas, Don’t Get Me Anything,” a vibrant, riff-mad emo banger that dropped — naturally — on Cyber Monday. “Witness St. Nick’s confusion as a child’s understanding of the true meaning of Christmas takes materialism to a new level,” the band writes. “It’s a clever, tongue-in-cheek ode to the bittersweet chaos of the holiday season. So, while you’re sipping eggnog by the fire or standing in line for doorbuster deals, add ‘Merry Christmas, Don’t Get Me Anything’ to your holiday playlist. Whether you’re decking the halls or dodging mistletoe, let King of Cups bring the perfect soundtrack to your season of cheer (and jeer).” We’ll raise a royal glass to that.
Blue Monkey, ‘Dive Bar Christmas’
Despite our Grinchian attitude right now, some of our fondest Christmas memories were served at the bar, spending hours down at the cozy local pub as holly adorns the walls, the red and green lights sparkle with colorful joy, and the warmth in the room provides a quick respite from the bitter cold both outside and in our hearts. For us, the spot used to be the Thirsty Scholar Pub in Somerville; for Blue Monkey, it’s the tavern that brings all the lonely hearts together and reminds us that Christmas is more about the company we keep. The folk-pop project of Charlee Remitz dropped the starry-eyed Americana-kissed track just as we’re forced to make plans on how, exactly, we’ll spend the holiday. And Remitz, well she knows a spot. The video, shot and edited by Hunni Baby Creative in association with Sayyo Production and Ives Albert, was filmed at a Nashville dive bar called Santa’s Pub. Very fitting. “To all the lonely hearts out there,” Remitz says, “this is a song for you.” Merry effing Christmas.