Put a cap in Eli Roth’s ‘Borderlands’ trailer


We didn’t get a chance to review Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving, so here’s our short take: Pretty good! Gnarly gory horror mixed with some decent Masshole humor — we’ll take all that and then some, even if we spent way too long quibbling about the fact that the film’s setup couldn’t happen in the Bay State, given that we don’t have Black Friday on Thanksgiving Day. But still, it was a return to form for our state’s favorite genre son, and we were excited to check out what he was going to do next… until we remembered he was directing the Borderlands movie.

Now, based on this trailer that Lionsgate dropped on Wednesday, it doesn’t look so bad — how could it, with that cast? — but we’ve played the Borderlands games, and, man, if you don’t have a group of fun buddies to kick back with for some multiplayer looter-shooter action, you’re left with a lot of cringe-ass humor.

Still, this does look kind of fun, so we’re going to open our minds and hearts for this one and probably have a slug lodged in both by the end of it. Peep it:

Here’s a synopsis:

Lilith (Cate Blanchett), an infamous bounty hunter with a mysterious past, reluctantly returns to her home, Pandora, the most chaotic planet in the galaxy. Her mission is to find the missing daughter of Atlas (Edgar Ramírez), the universe’s most powerful S.O.B. Lilith forms an unexpected alliance with a ragtag team of misfits – Roland (Kevin Hart), a seasoned mercenary on a mission; Tiny Tina (Ariana Greenblatt), a feral pre-teen demolitionist; Krieg (Florian Munteanu), Tina’s musclebound protector; Tannis (Jamie Lee Curtis), the oddball scientist who’s seen it all; and Claptrap (Jack Black), a wiseass robot. Together, these unlikely heroes must battle an alien species and dangerous bandits to uncover one of Pandora’s most explosive secrets. The fate of the universe could be in their hands – but they’ll be fighting for something more: each other. Based on one of the best-selling videogame franchises of all time, welcome to ‘Borderlands.'”

Borderlands will hit theaters on August 9 — which is something, given that those are some pretty dry-ass months for movies. Will Eli print cash at a time in which every member of his target audience will have to choose between seeing this and rewatching Deadpool and Wolverine? Only time will tell.