There’s something very real about reality vs. expectation in 2023, and taking that mood in noisy melodic form this week is a band called Total Downer banging out an emo-punk cruiser about body image called “Taylor Lautner.”
The Cleveland band unleashed the summery track on Tuesday (January 10), with vocalist Andy Schumann breaking it all down: “I was in middle school when Twilight came out and thought it was perfectly normal that everyone thirsted for Taylor Lautner’s body. But now as an adult, it makes me sick that all these older Hollywood execs made this 18 year old appear shirtless against his will. But even despite this reckoning and intellectualizing, in the deepest recesses of my brain, Taylor Lautner’s body is still a goal & I would do many things to get that swole.”
In the “Taylor Lautner” video, available for heartthrob consumption below, Schumann strips down for the camera and each tear of the endless layers of a plain white tee reveals a new lyrical message, kinda like the 21st century power-pop version of INXS’ “Mediate.”
Total Downer are set to release new album Caretaker on January 27 via Cleveland DIY label and indie archivists Just Because Records. Hit the gym and get into “Taylor Lautner” below.