In the annals of “pretty-decent-looking cartoon movie seemingly ruined by a single voice actor” history, we’re sure that the Super Mario Bros. Movie will probably have the most extensive volume penned about it by some future civilization. Say what you will about Illumination, but they make colorful slapstick, which is pretty much the name of the game when it comes to the adventure of a mushroom-jacked plumber stomping on sentient toadstools, and the movie looks pretty good, aside from a few weird design choices (what the fuck are those arms!). But Chris Pratt just sticks out like a sore thumb among a decent voice cast, there because he’s either got some secret deal with Universal (hey, you don’t make a billion with the Jurassic World movies without getting a few million for shitty voice acting in return) or Shigeru Miyamoto’s creativity locked up in a storage unit in SoCal.
Anyway, Nintendo and Universal dropped a brand-new trailer for the film on Tuesday, and it doesn’t look terrible. It just sounds like it.
Here’s a synopsis, or at least it’s what passes for a synopsis when you’re dealing with IP this huge. So, yeah, it’s just a cast list, but at least you can try to piece together a plot summary with the details (we imagine Mario-themed Macbeth, with Peach’s blood-stained hands and Luigi getting murdered so that Mario can advance and become king of Mushroom Scotland):
“Directed by Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic (collaborators on ‘Teen Titans Go!,’ ‘Teen Titans Go! To the Movies’) from a screenplay by Matthew Fogel (‘The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part,’ Illumination’s ‘Minions: The Rise of Gru’), the film stars Chris Pratt as Mario, Anya Taylor-Joy as Princess Peach, Charlie Day as Luigi, Jack Black as Bowser, Keegan-Michael Key as Toad, Seth Rogen as Donkey Kong, Fred Armisen as Cranky Kong, Kevin Michael Richardson as Kamek and Sebastian Maniscalco as Spike.“
The Super Mario Bros. Movie hits theaters on April 7, and, hey, it’s bound to be better than the Sonic movies, right? Please?