Jill McCracken’s new single is brought to you by ghosts. Specifically, by Ghost Hit Recording in West Springfield and by the ghost of an unwelcome — but ultimately revelatory — panic attack.
The Boston singer-songwriter drops “help me, hold me, heal me” today (May 12), just one week before her headlining show May 19 at Brighton Music Hall. The new track finds her asking for the care she deserves in explicit terms — but don’t confuse her belting for begging.
“I wrote the song as I was coming off of a panic attack last year,” McCracken tells Vanyaland. “The song is a reflection of my panicked mental state when I feel like I really need help but don’t feel like I can ask for it, which is often.”
Stuck in a drained headspace, McCracken put her thoughts on paper. The sentences came out in spurts. Help me. Hold me. Heal me. She found strength in the simplicity of her words and fiddled with them like petite puzzle pieces. As she crafted her notes into a chorus, she came to a realization: Asking for a little love doesn’t have to be agonizing or embarrassing.
“Intellectually, I know I have people in my life who want to love and support me, but once they’re not right in front of me showing me that they love me, it can be easy for me to get paranoid and feel like I’m too much for everyone and they secretly resent me… so I don’t want to ask anything of anyone,” she explains. “That feeling definitely comes from how my world was set up as a child. I felt very loved and adored half the time and then felt the opposite the other half of the time. I learned that not having any needs would earn me the most love from others. Which of course is not how it works — turns out you’re supposed to need people!”
Emboldened by a background vocal crew, lots of layered tracking, and string arrangements, McCracken asserts her needs with an extra dose of soul — which speaks volumes (no pun intended), given that soul is her specialty. “help me, hold me, heal me” may conjure that retro sound, but it forges into the 21st century with a healthy attitude towards accepting the care we all need, even when we can’t find the words to adequately explain ourselves.
“The verses explore that idea through a more self-empathetic lens — ‘yeah, how could I have known?'” McCracken concludes. “Of course I need to feel seen and heard and reassured of someone’s love– because I learned early on that I can’t just rest easy knowing that love is gonna just be there. It all makes sense.”
Tune in below, and then help her, hold her, and heal her from the barricade at Brighton Music Hall next Thursday.
JILL MCCRACKEN + GATCH :: Thursday, May 19 at Brighton Music Hall, 158 Brighton Ave. in Allston, MA :: 18-plus, 7 p.m., $15 :: Advance tickets :: Facebook event page
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