They Can’t All Be Winners, Kid: Seven once-hopeful film franchises that never took off

In an era of blockbuster filmmaking that’s totally designed around the long-term success of a franchise rather than an individual installment, every single studio in the world has wanted that particular property they could call their own. But not every film can be a Star Wars (yay!) or a Twilight (boo!), and the studios have cast their nets wide, gathering up tons of properties and praying that they’ll lay golden eggs.

In honor of the release of The Dark Tower this Friday (expect our review tomorrow), we decided to take a look back and find some of the worst examples of DOA franchise filmmaking, found, after release, by their studio owners face-down in shit-infested waters.

Enjoy, but you might want to wear a protective suit when handling these bombs.

Prev5 of 7Next
Swipe or use your ← → (arrow) keys

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

This nostalgia-bait CGI extravaganza is more notable nowadays for giving us one of the first instances of an actor being digitally resurrected to perform a part (Laurence Olivier’s still turning over in his grave for that one), but at the time it was seen as a potential franchise-starter. It looked like it had everything: Robots! Planes! An interesting setting! But unfortunately, Jude Law was in one too many movies that year, as Chris Rock would have had you believe, and audiences didn’t flock to it. In retrospect, it’s a great deal like Joe Johnston’s sterling piece of retro entertainment The Rocketeer, which also was given a large budget and featured extensive effects work and couldn’t generate any interest, and though it’s significantly less entertaining that than that film, Sky Captain’s a pretty solid little piece of work. 2004 just wasn’t ready for this stuff.

Prev5 of 7Next
Swipe or use your ← → (arrow) keys