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Dangerous Toys: Terrible film adaptations that are nothing more than child’s play

This Friday (February 10) sees the release of The Lego Batman Movie and, much like its predecessor The Lego Movie, it’s both “certified fresh” and currently holding steady at 94 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. In honor of this massive achievement, we’d figured flip the script of positivity and make a list of the worst movies based on toy lines ever. If anything, it'll show how far we’ve come in our toy line adaptations.

As you scan through the selections below, you might wonder where the The Care Bears and Garbage Pail Kids are, but we decided to stick to actual physical as opposed to those spun off of greeting card characters and trading cards. We had to draw the line somewhere, or the Ewoks would have wound up on this list. Sure enough, even when you exclude those disasterpieces, there’s still plenty of terrible to go around.

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Bratz: The Movie [2007]

From the people who brought you the dolls that sent Bush-era Fox News commentators into a tizzy, came a pretty terrible High School Musical/Mean Girls mashup without any of the teen appeal of the former and the humor of the latter. A group of four girls who have a “pashun for fashun” get split up by the mean girl into their respective cliques — aw, who are we kidding, you probably already know the gist of all this. We mean, this is the kind of movie where people actually say “bratitude” as if it were an actual thing and not a marketing slogan. This is as cynical a cash-grab as you’ll ever find in your local multiplex, and the fact that Jon Voight got roped into wear both a prosthetic nose and pants for this is simultaneously funny and sad. Bratz: The Movie was legendary on internet communities like Something Awful back in its heyday for how bad it was, but we’d recommend you’d go huff glue with Dr. David Thorpe instead of revisiting this piece of shit.

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