9. Doomtree, All Hands [Doomtree Records]
“Oh, fuck off, you know nothing about hip hop. Nothing!” screams imaginary roommate Spider-Man Jesus Jonson, in my general direction. “You’re just namechecking Doomtree to make your taste in music look more eclectic than it actually is.”
“That’s only half-true!” I shout back. “My taste in music is not eclectic at all, but I got really stoked on two hip hop albums this year — All Hands and Meow The Jewels — which is twice as many as I usually do.”
“Meow The Jewels doesn’t count! That’s a remix album — not a truly new album! And a gimmicky remix album, at that!”
“M‘Kay, you won’t accept Meow The Jewels and don’t believe my interest in Doomtree or any other rap is authentic. Fine. You would prefer I write about Speedy Ortiz or Grimes instead?”
“… Hm, actually, neh, those are kind of predictable. Stick with Doomtree! Keep things lively! To hell with authenticity!”
“Thanks… y’dick.”