Poison Control: Bret Michaels’ new bro-country song is really, really, really, really, really bad

 
 

Get ready to have a whole new respect for the “Unskinny Bop.”

Poison singer and one-time reality TV star Bret Michaels and gone country, and the results are not good. The Rock Of Love star has just released “Girls On Bars,” and it stinks worse than anything the cat’s ever dragged in. Michaels goes from the aftermath of Heavy Metal Parking Lot to riding the coattails of a Walmart lot with lines like “Hot chicks, cold beer, let’s keep the party rollin’ up in here!” and “Cold beer, hot chicks, both feel good when they hit your lips.”

And that’s just the chorus. He sings about working that grind, paying them bills, and going out to the local honky-tonk (we guess) looking for Nothin’ But A Good Time. C.C. DeVille is not picking up this phone.

“Girls On Bars” was co-written by Nashville song dude Luke Laird, who has scribbled hits by Carrie Underwood, Eric Church, and Blake Shelton. It’s the first song off Michaels’ new country album, True Grit, which includes a country re-boot of Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” complete with vocals by Loretta Lynn.

Michaels is optimistic about revitalizing his career through country radio.

“I’m going up against a big wall,” Michaels tells Billboard. “But this has been my life story. I realize there’s a lot of big labels. There’s a lot of talent and great songs out there right now. I realize what I’m going up against. Here is my theory: if it’s a great song, people will relate to it. You work hard, and then hope it really catches fire.”

Listen to “Girls On Bars” below. No Vanyaland Challenge necessary — go as deep as you need to.

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