Ever since that whole Gary Glitter child pornography and molestation scandal around the turn of the century, hockey arenas around North America have been looking for a suitable replacement for the ’70s glam rocker’s once-ubitquitous goal-scoring anthem, “Rock And Roll Part 2.”
While some teams have turned to techno (the Boston Bruins pumping “Kernkraft 400” by Zombie Nation) and others to guitar-rock jams (the Fratellis’ “Chelsea Dagger” in Chicago or Black Keys’ “Howlin’ For You” in Arizona), nothing has really spread league-wide like Glitter’s first-pumping string of jubilant “Hey!’s” Hell, even Joe Satriani took a shot at net with his “Crowd Chant,” which still sounds a bit forced after Zach Parise scores during Minnesota Wild home games.
But this weekend comes a new entry from a rather unlikely participant: California punk band the Offspring. It hasn’t been too long since we celebrated — and commemorated — the 20th anniversary of the band’s breakout album Smash, which alongside Green Day and Rancid helped shape West Coast punk in the ’90s. But suddenly Dexter Holland, Noodles, and the other guys have a new single out called “Coming For You”, and well, shit, each time we hear it we feel like we just scored a playoff goal in double-OT.
“Coming For You” is definitely not meant to be a sports anthem, but it sure sounds like one.
Musically, it’s got a lot of other song elements in it, like the Offspring’s own 2008 song “Shit Is Fucked Up”, as well as a dash of Muse’s “Uprising”, and a bit of a slowed-down version of AFI’s “Too Shy To Scream”. And it’s got that drum beat, those handclaps, and enough “Hey!” to fill a barn in Saskatchewan.
To work in hockey arenas, it’ll need a bit of editing, and some of the lyrics need to go. But the core is there, and we can’t help but think the guys had sports in mind when they wrote this. And hey, it’s light years better than that steaming pile of shit the Rangers play to the suits whenever they manage to score at Madison Square Garden. So there’s that.
Will it catch on? Who knows. Could it? Certainly. Just keep the band away from the kids.