Vanyaland Challenge: How long can you watch Paris Hilton’s new turd-pop music video?

It’s been a hot minute since we issued a Vanyaland Challenge, what with pedo-producer Patrice Wilson laying low and Tay Allyn getting a new data plan. But here comes Paris Hilton to spice up our Tuesday with her new single and video, “Come Alive.”

The clip premiered a few hours ago, and it’s a predictably bad mix of overused Instagram filters, Rihanna’s “Only Girl In The World,” and a Lisa Frank Trapper-Keeper.

But the song? Good God, this fucking song.

We honestly expected a bit more from the socialite-DJ-actress-model-whateverer. The Auto-tuned-out “Come Alive,” unlike Hilton, goes absolutely nowhere, its payoff buried deep within the track and even then it’s a limp-ass reward. It doesn’t take much to pen a trance-y electro-pop hit these days, and Hilton should be able to afford better writers and producers.

This is a bored handjob of a pop song.

So we issue the challenge: Can you watch it all the way through? There’s a cookie and a shower in it for the victors.

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