[dropcap]T[/dropcap]he world learned yesterday that a live-action Jem & the Holograms movie is on the way, and producers are holding open casting calls for the re-booted ’80s cartoon. The animated cult classic was created by writer Christy Marx in 1985, and in it, a girl named Jerica Benton harnessed hologram technology to transform into pop superstar Jem.
The trio behind the franchise’s new life is Justin Bieber manager Scooter Braun, G.I. Joe director Jon M. Chu, and Paranormal Activity producer Jason Blum. They made their announcement via YouTube on Thursday, and the clip is fast approaching 100,000 views.
While we initially started daydreaming about Miley Cyrus being cast as Jem, our minds drifted away towards the Holograms’ bitter rivals — the evil girl band the Misfits.
Comprised of Pizzazz, Roxy, Stormer and Jetta, the Misfits were a new wave menace, all while being both punk rock and uber-fashionable.
So who would we enlist to play the Misfits in the new flick? Here are our choices, in no particular order (and no, we didn’t suggest Pussy Riot)…
Dum Dum Girls
Dee Dee Penny would be the ultimate rock and roll villain to foil Jem’s superstar dreams. The Los Angeles/New York City crew already have a moody evilness, and they just look like the Misfits would in 2014. (They play Brighton Music Hall on March 27 with Blouse, by the way).
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Haim
The white-hot Los Angeles trio would certainly help add appeal at the box office, though they’re a bit soft-serve the evil Misfits. If they ever wanted to shed that “Wilson Philips of our generation” tag, this would be a good start.
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Warpaint
Warpaint, who are playing Boston Calling in May, have the look, the sound (for a moodier Misfits, of course), and the song titles. Perhaps Shannyn Sossamon, who once played in the Los Angeles band, can make a movie cameo.
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Trippple Nippples
The Japanese spaz-punk duo would certainly add a bit of unpredictable danger to Jem’s innocent pop world. 2011’s “LSD” could easily be reworked to declare “We are the Misfits, our songs are better.” They might want to rethink that name, though — this is a kids show!
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The Julie Ruin
Kathleen Hanna has to be involved in this project in some way, doesn’t she? Yeah there’s a boy in the band, but we’ll work around that. “Oh Come On” already sounds like a Misfits track. We’d even take Le Tigre here, as well.
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Petty Morals
Boston’s Petty Morals are perfect for this role, embodying a snarky, sultry balance between punk, new wave and cotton candy. Hell, they could play Jem & the Holograms, but we think being the Misfits is a lot more fun. They wouldn’t even need new songs — just use the one off the ladies’ recent Lemonade EP.