It’s Black Friday across America, so what better way to commemorate consumerism than to spotlight some of the best Ugly Holiday Sweaters making the rounds this season. The Ugly Holiday Sweater thing has gained popularity over the years (you’ve no doubt gotten invites to those parties from your hip friends in Somerville), so it’s no surprise that rock and metal bands have gotten into the evil fun.
With some help from our friends at Under the Gun and other trusted sites, here are the 10 best Ugly Holiday Band Sweaters certain to spice up any holiday party, or just make you look like a total dingus while you stand by yourself near the eggnog. Either way, you win.
NOTE: Some of these have already been pulled from online shelves, or were for sale on a limited run; we’re spotlighting them because they look cool, not because we’re the Boston Herald Holiday Gift Guide…
10. The Atilla sweater — Grandma will just love this “Suck My Fuck” family design from the Atlanta metalcore band. The two reindeer won’t be the only thing getting it on when you get it on. A steal at $28.
9. The Chelsea Grin sweater — I think it speaks for all of us, really.
8. The Glass Cloud sweater — This one shies away from evil and cops a truly vintage holiday design, and the GC logo could pass for Chanel depending on how drugged-up your step-sister is by the time you open gifts on Christmas morning.
7. The Reverend Horton Heat sweater — The Reverend is a classic as these sweaters, and you can easily roll up your pack of smokes in one of the sleeves.
6. The Metallica sweater — Santa-tarium, let me weave. Or knit. Whatever. From snowflakes to Master of Puppets imagery, this is a nice looking sweater.
5. The Impending Doom sweater — A perfect blend of seasonal cheer and year-round Satanism. This California deathcore quartet knows that nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a bunch of evil reindeer. Hopefully you ordered yours before November 19, because they don’t seem to be available anymore (eBay?). It’s still an awesome design, though.
4. The Queens of the Stone Age “Reindeer” sweater — No doubt this is the one you’re most likely to see at your office party next month. We can’t tell if the dude wearing it will be spilling Bailey’s all over himself or banging an editorial assistant over a Xerox machine in the back room. Maybe both, it’s 2013. Bonus points for more shaggin’ reindeer.
3. The Slayer sweater — The sport is warmth, total warmth, but you’ll look dazzling in this red and black top complete with pentagrams falling like snowflakes down the arms. *This is only available in the UK, but anyone headed up to Tsongas Arena tomorrow should let us know if these fuckers are for sale. And grab us one.
2. The Anthrax Hanukkah sweater — Turn up in it and bring the oyes!
1. The Motorhead 8-bit sweater — This one made the rounds in October, but no one seems to be able to find it for sale. Either it was a hoax, or Shredders Apparel got a cease-and-desist. Either way, this is the Ace of Spades to rule all holiday sweaters.
