Finally, a 30 Seconds To Mars show is getting the attention it deserves. Apparently late last month at a concert in Toronto, frontman and Oscar-winning actor Jared Leto gave a glimpse of his highly-coveted penis, long suspected by Hollywood to be rather …large.
And you were just jealous of the man’s hair. Now along comes Leto’s Dallas Buyers Chub for the whole world to be jealous over.
The evidential video, posted below, shows Leto grabbing something about the size of a baby’s arm inside his pants and giving it a gool ol’ fashioned shake. Though we don’t actually see his penis, in the flesh, he’s either confirming those tree-trunk rumors or smuggling a Subway foot long on stage from the venue’s green room.
Here’s the good gospel word from Gawker.
According to sources who claim to be close to Jared Leto’s dick, Jared Leto’s dick is very large, as human dicks go, and shaped like the plumed helmet of an elite Roman guard. Although this classic American genital folktale hasn’t been independently confirmed, Leto entered some new evidence into the Case of Is Jared Leto’s Dick Big at a recent 30 Seconds to Mars Show.
During his band’s set in Toronto on Aug. 24, Leto was seen manipulating a sizeable dick-esque object beneath his shorts—very likely, as DListed eloquently terms it, “his prostate-busting, foot long torta with extra jamón.”
Without entirely ruling out the possibility of a calculated peen-spiracy, Occam’s Razor suggests that the actor/singer is indeed blessed with a humongous ancient Roman ham-pastry, but we still have yet to see it onscreen or in photos.
Well let’s have a look, shall we? The gold arrives at the 1:45 mark.
Oh.
Hmmm, that’s something. Has anyone checked up on the cat lately?
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